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Saiunkoku Crack!Fic: Kitten Laws.

  • Apr. 21st, 2007 at 1:06 PM

Title: Kitten Laws (or: puppies and kitties!Saiunkoku)
Summary: Chibi!Kouyuu and kittiness. poor Reishin.
Notes: Moooore crack. More sweet, insane crack. For the lovely Trixie, who wanted kittens and puppies. This has far more of the first than the second, I'm afraid, but I'm thinking of doing a puppy!Ryuuki mirror to this.



puppies and kitties!Saiunkoku.
Reishin hadn't really thought about it, if he was to be honest. He hardly had much experience with children in the first place, and so he hadn't placed much importance on the fact that the boy he decided to adopt was a kitten and not a pup. Surely the couldn't be all that different, he had perhaps thought at some stage, although Reishin wasn't entirely convinced he'd even mentally gotten that far. Shouka's pup was well behaved, respectful and did as he was told - surely the fact that Reishin had adopted a kitten instead meant nothing.


Very quickly, Reishin learnt otherwise. That Kouyuu, with his slightly tattered ears and somewhat fluffy tail, was a kitten meant that he was nothing like Shouka's pup at all.


1. Kittens do not like to get wet.
It was not until the second week of the monsoon season that Reishin realised that Kouyuu had stopped venturing away from the main building of the Kou compound. There was little in general to entice Kouyuu away from the main building, but Kouyuu had a habit of ending up in places he didn't intend to. Occasionally, Kouyuu was even known to take a book out beneath the trees and read in the gardens, although Reishin hardly expected Kouyuu to do that in the pouring rain.


This ... this sitting inside and simply watching the rain, however, was starting to irritate Reishin. Kouyuu was at it now, curled up tightly with his arms wound around his legs and his tail tucked around his ankles as he watched the rain from the french doors that opened out onto his balcony. The rain was slowly starting to encroach across the small balcony that lead off of Kouyuu's room and into a small, private (and most importantly of all, fenced off) garden, but all Kouyuu did was curl his toes in to keep them dry.


Pups, Reishin knew from experience, did not act so strangely around rain. He could still remember one wet weekend he had spent at the palace, and how the youngest prince had spent half his time playfully jumping from puddle to puddle, his tail wagging wildly behind him. Young Ryuuki certainly hadn't hidden inside.


"I want you to go fetch me something from Kouru's wing," Reishin ordered, causing Kouyuu to jump and finally turn away from the rain. The foolish boy hadn't even realised Reishin was there.


"I will go when it stops raining." The argumentative reply surprised Reishin, who tapped his fan impatiently against his thigh in response.


"I want it now. If you're quick you won't get too wet."


"Surely a servant could go get it then?" There was a hint of panic in Kouyuu's tone that gave Reishin pause. He certainly hadn't expected that. "You said it was important to remember that everyone has a particular role-"


"Yes, yes," Reishin cut in dismissively. "Are you telling me that you dislike the rain so much that you'd rather sit around inside as opposed to being useful?"


"Yes," Kouyuu said with a touch more defensiveness in his tone than was necessary.


"That's ridiculous. Didn't you live out in it for years?" Reishin asked, finding himself strangely curious. Realisation came a moment too late, and Kouyuu's ears drooped flat against his head as his gaze fell to the ground.


"Yes," Kouyuu quietly - hauntingly - agreed. "Years." The last word was as soft and as hollow as an echo.


How in the world was Reishin supposed to respond to something like that? Shouka had never warned him of anything like this.


"You will go the moment the rain stops," he said gruffly when the silence became too heavy. "Not a moment later. Do you understand?" Kouyuu's nod held far too much relief for Reishin's liking. He said no more, but as Reishin left he was already planning on having a big, wide umbrella ordered for the silly boy.


2. Kittens talk with their tails.
Kouyuu didn't talk a great deal, but Reishin quickly discovered that the boy didn't need to. Unlike pups who wagged their tails one way and way only (which was with far too much enthusiasm), kittens, Reishin found, expressed themselves almost solely through them. Kouyuu's tail would positively swish when he was angry, cutting through the air was a soft hiss that was instantly identifiable as Kouyuu's. When Kouyuu was focussing hard on something, be it on a difficult book or when attempting to perfectly pour Reishin a cup of tea, his tail would stay almost impossibly still, as though it didn't dare to move. Reishin always became wary when the young boy's tail would curl slowly around his leg or up around his waist, as it meant that Kouyuu was hurting in a quiet way that Reishin couldn't quite understand.


Kouyuu's tail was currently twitching in anticipation, his ears perked as he waited for Reishin to check his work. Reishin tapped his fingers against his desk as he read Kouyuu's essay, silently noting how the boy used far more complicated language than any child - or adult - really had any right to.


"It's adequate," he finally said dismissively. Kouyuu didn't smile, choosing to simply nod in acknowledgement instead. His tail however, swished just a touch at the tip.

3. Kittens don't like dogs.
They found Kouyuu eventually. The stupid boy had hidden behind one of the out buildings, a book in hand and a small parcel of food at his side. Reishin let out an annoyed sigh as he marched Kouyuu back towards to the main complex, angrily telling him off for wasting so much of their time. The least Kouyuu could have done was hide somewhere close such as in the archives, although Reishin silently acknowledged that the other boys would have found him there. They were like a pack of hounds, and even though Reishin would have them disowned if it was up to him, they possessed at least a smidgen of the Kou intellect. Any time a formal gathering was held at the Kou complex, the lesser sons of lesser relatives had a ... habit ... of seeking out Kouyuu. That Kouyuu had taken to hiding away from them had become part of the fun, at least as long as Kouyuu was found before they had to go home.


Unfortunately, Kouyuu had become very good at hiding. It meant that while the other boys couldn't find him, it also meant that it took hours for anyone else to, as well.


"They left six hours ago, Kouyuu," Reishin darkly commented, already plotting out the small boy's punishment. "Six hours." Kouyuu smiled triumphantly, his tail flicking proudly as he walked.

4. Kittens always land on their feet. Except when they don't.
Kouyuu glared, his tail swishing violently form side to side.


"You jumped off a wall?" Reishin echoed dryly, disbelief spreading across his features. "Well, if you do something so stupid, you deserve to get hurt." Kouyuu's gaze simply narrowed, and Reishin had to bite back an irritated sigh. What in the world had possessed his normally level headed son to something so foolish? "I suppose you have a good explanation for such childish behaviour?"


"Dara said I wouldn't be able to do it." Kouyuu's jaw jutted out, dark pride shining in his eyes even as Reishin's momentarily drifted close. Why did kittens have to be so proud? And who was this Dara? "He said I was too gangly to be able to land on my feet."


"Well, you certainly proved him wrong." His son bristled at Reishin's mocking tone, his ears flattening in a defensive manner. "Your ankle will take weeks to heal." It was somewhat of an exaggeration, and it only served to fuel Kouyuu's anger even more.


"I am fine," he declared, daring Reishin to contradict him. When Reishin simply cocked his eyebrow in response, Kouyuu closed his hands determinedly into fists and attempted to stalk past him.


A soft mew escaped through Kouyuu's lips as he fell, his ankle giving out the moment he put any weight on it. Reishin huffed impatiently as he bent down before the small boy, who still managed to glare up at him defiantly through his tears. Reishin's gaze narrowed as he surveyed the corridor. Only servants and family ever passed through this particular corridor, and they were only a few minutes walk away from his wing ...


Kouyuu was deceptively light, Reishin discovered when he swept the small up into his arms. And, warm. Strangely warm. The kit's surprise shone in his eyes, but there was something else there that made Reishin feel distinctly uncomfortable.


"It's not the ability to fall that is important, you silly boy." Reishin said gruffly as he made his way through the corridors. "It's being able to get up afterwards."


5. Kittens like to sleep in their owners laps.
The world had been taken over by cotton wool. It was Reishin's first thought as consciousness slowly returned. Cotton wool clouded his vision, cotton wool clogged his mouth. It was only after something rancid was tipped down his throat that the cotton wool seemed to thin, unveiling the concerned face of his younger brother.


"How are you feeling, Reishin-sama?" Kouru asked.


"Fine." It was a stock response, and it gave Reishin a moment to actually evaluate how he did indeed feel. A little heady, a little tired, a little like lead. He struggled into a sitting position, his breaths coming out a touch more ragged than was surely necessary.


"Your fever broke several hours ago," Kouru stated, offering Reishin a cold drink that Reishin readily accepted. "You still need to rest, of course, but the doctor said that it wasn't too serious ..." Kouyuu broke off as his gaze followed Reishin's to where Kouyuu was sleeping in a chair, his head resting on the edge of Reishin's bed. "It's the first time he's slept in three days," Kouru said softly, and Reishin frowned at the almost paternal look his younger brother gave Kouyuu. Kouyuu certainly looked as though he hadn't slept much, Reishin allowed gruffly. Tired ears lay flat against Kouyuu's head, and there was slight bruising around his eyes. "He hasn't moved from that chair since you fell ill."


"That's ridiculous!" Reishin said bitingly. "He'll only work himself up into a state of illness himself if he continues with such childish behaviour. You should have had him removed to his own room, Kouru. You are the adult in this situation, not him." Yet, Kouyuu had always been a strangely determined boy, and as Kouru rewarded his son with a wry, paternal (and Reishin did not like that at all!) smile, he could just imagine the fuss Kouyuu would have made if someone had tried to force him to leave.


"Would you like me to carry him to his bed now?" Kouru offered. "I can stay with him a while in case he wakes."


"That will not be necessary, you would only wake him," Reishin said shortly. "He can stay here."


"He really should be sleeping in a bed, Reishin-sama," Kouru protested. "It's been days-"


"He can stay here," Reishin repeated. "My bed is certainly big enough for the two of us." If Reishin hadn't liked the way Kouru had been looking at his son, he certainly didn't like the way his younger brother was looking now at Reishin with a disgusting amount of warmth. "It is the only practical option," he declared irritably. "If he wakes somewhere else he will panic and try to find me - who knows where he will end up."


"Of course, Reishin-sama."


It was strange to see someone else touch his son, Kouyuu was very particular about such things as was Reishin. Kouru gently placed Kouyuu on the bed as Reishin scuttled over to give the small boy as much space as possible. This was hardly appropriate, but the bed was surely big-


Horrified, Reishin froze as Kouyuu rolled in his sleep, coming into contact with Reishin. Worse was to come, as the small boy curled up against him, his head resting in Reishin's lap. Kouru possessed enough intelligence to quickly excuse himself, although Reishin would certainly make him pay later for the small smile that Kouru had not been quite able to hide quickly enough.


"Move, now." Reishin hissed the order quietly, but Kouyuu neither woke nor moved. He gently tried to push the boy away, but Kouyuu simply frowned and clasped Reishin's robes tightly in his small hands.


This was-


He-


The stupid little-


Tentatively, Reishin lowered a hand to Kouyuu's ears and experimentally stroked them. He paused abruptly when Kouyuu moved slightly beneath his touch, letting out a breath he hadn't known he was holding when Kouyuu stilled again. And, this was completely and utterly ridiculous and he was just going to have to move the boy off-


Kouyuu was purring.


Kouyuu never purred.


A few minutes, Reishin allowed darkly. Kouyuu could stay where he was for a few minutes, but then Reishin would most certainly move him.


Most certainly.


Comments

( 9 comments — Leave a comment )
[info]trixie_chick wrote:
Apr. 21st, 2007 02:08 am (UTC)
KEKEKEKEKEKEKEKE, zomg, the LOVE!!!!! *flutters and squees* kouyuu is a PERFECT kitty and reishin being a pup is so perfect, too, andandand... i love all of it, especially the rain and reishin getting uppity about kouru looking at kouyuu affectionately and the best part is the end because reishin, m'dear, you have NO idea, a small wee kitty is PERFECTLY capable of kicking a grown man out of bed! LOL!!!!!! and purring is just a defense mechanism to butter you up while trying to!!

SQUEE.

*piles HEAPS of love on you!!!!!*

^____________________________^
[info]cairnsy wrote:
Apr. 21st, 2007 02:37 am (UTC)
My only experience with cats was Miss Pussy Paws, a stray cat who used to break into our old house so she could sleep on someones face during the night. She was very persistant and purred so loudly that whoever she managed to find hardly slept a wink. The nuttiness of dogs, however, I have 16 years of exerpeince to draw on!

The fandom needs more crack!
[info]grey_damaskena wrote:
Apr. 21st, 2007 02:42 am (UTC)
. . . that is conceivably one of the cutest things I have ever seen. I have to say, though, Reishin is the one who really shines in this. He's so . . . so . . . Reishin. Ye gods. You should totally do a mirror for this, the cuteness is not to be denied.
[info]cairnsy wrote:
Apr. 21st, 2007 02:59 am (UTC)
It really is far more a 'Reishin has a kitty' fic as opposed to a 'Kouyuu is a kitty' one ^^. Ooh, you have to give me a hint at least about your AU! Enquiring minds need to know!
[info]grey_damaskena wrote:
Apr. 21st, 2007 02:33 pm (UTC)
Reishin needs more love anyway, he is quite superior. And far too seldom seen. And really, even the coldest bastard can't last long against a kitten. It's a well-known fact.

Which one, I think that's the question. ::wry:: I'm working on three of them . . . but the one currently getting my attention has been nicked Demon Hunter, and . . . well, there are demons, and I make much of certain characters having yellow eyes, and Kanshou and Bakuya talk. Yeah. Crack. But there's bunches of Ensei. Bunches of Ensei is always good.
[info]vuirneen wrote:
Apr. 21st, 2007 04:49 pm (UTC)
It's so, so cute. I love cats and it's gorgeous. What makes it more than unbelieveably cute, though, is that the fic is believeable. It's not "OMFG lol, they're cats", everyone's developed as people, who just happen to be cats and dogs.
[info]cairnsy wrote:
Apr. 23rd, 2007 10:04 am (UTC)
You know, I think that's why I've never been able to write crack in the past - I can't quite lose the fact they're still the characters I know and love. *grin* I'm starting to find crack strangely ... addicting, however. The pun, it kills.
[info]vuirneen wrote:
Apr. 23rd, 2007 05:11 pm (UTC)
Well, if the crack doesn't reference the characterisation, then it's not really fanfiction for that series. It then becomes one of those stories, where you could find and replace the names and fit it into any given fandom.
[info]tyreling wrote:
May. 12th, 2008 09:49 pm (UTC)
This is shooo cyuute. ZOMG! *dies of cute* <-- is a kitten lover.
( 9 comments — Leave a comment )

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